Newcomer 20 Questions

Make me sound like I know what I'm talking about when I tell the newcomer to Alcoholics Anonymous that among the first things they're going to have to do is to explore their fundamental resentment towards God from several different angles:

• What are they afraid God is either going to do to them or not do for them?

• Where did they get the distrust for God?

• Why did they believe the people who told them to distrust God in the first place, rather than making up their own mind?

• And exactly what is it that causes them to resist God without being fully willing to explore what the basis of any selfishness, self-interest, dishonesty, or resentment or fears might be related to the entity, concept, existence, or nonexistence of God?

So the group being named First Things First, it wouldn't be out of line to explain that the first thing necessary to begin the journey into Alcoholics Anonymous is to be thorough, honest, relentlessly objective about what they either like or dislike about God, trust or don't trust about God, and to write as specifically as possible about their relationship or non-relationship with God, all of as if their life depended on writing the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in that regard.

That's correct. So that's why I have opened every vent in the room I possibly can to speak about your love or hatred, your indifference or your affinity, your relationship or non-relationship, your uh Your questions, your certainty, your faith, your skepticism. I'm talking about an honest picture of God. Since we can't seem to get God out of the picture, why not deal with it first? In short, let them think that what they're doing is clarifying their understanding of God at the beginning, so we will have a starting point. First things first.

20 Questions is a great game. I would like for you to think long, hard, reflect, analyze, deliberate, and turn the rambling, shambling, desultory comments I have given you into 20 taut, objective, inoffensive, titillating questions for the consideration of a newcomer.

AA‘s opinion settled or not has nothing to do with an individual member’s inventory. That kind of flies in the face of “when therefore we speak to of God we mean your own conception of God.” That is how we deal with step two in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. What I am seeking to elicit straightforwardly rather than starting with the temper tantrum crybaby puny God insistence of people who cannot get God to do for them what they want God to do. I want to be straightforward with the new man. My questions are specifically for the individual ❤️ to ❤️ answer to more perfectly form their existing consciousness of God, not someone else’s opinion. But I respectfully disagree and stake my 37 years of happiness, successful alcohol-free membership, and alcoholics. anonymous, that AA’s opinion at large, means nothing. One alcoholic, working with another who can establish the intimacy to discuss such things as I’m


You missed the point. You're in the latter-day nouveau AA world. I'm talking about the way it was created. I want to trigger resistance. I want to provoke them. I want them to quit dancing around the question and come to terms with what their conception of God straight up. Because my question when someone is new is:

• One, do you consider yourself alcoholic, yes or no?

• Have you had enough to drink yet, yes or no?

• If you have had enough to drink, are you willing to do whatever it takes to never drink again?

And if they can answer all those things yes, then we have an honest footing set. I don't care about playing patty cake over your God versus my God. I don't want to placate them. I do not want to enable them. I do not want to mollycoddle them. That is what those Al-Anons have done to the point it's nearly killed them.

Well, in a program that nothing counts but thoroughness and honesty, why in the world would I care about their feelings? We're not playing blind man's bluff here. We're not trying to get them to feel their way into serenity. We're getting them to admit that they are absolutely morally bankrupt, pitifully incomprehensibly demoralized, crushed by a self-imposed crisis they can no longer postpone or avoid. So why would I play pattycake softball with the people? If they are serious about getting sober, I can show them how. If they want to join the debating society, I can show them where.

You see, it's none of my business whether they want to talk to me or not. It's none of my business whether they get sober or not. It's none of my business whether they've had enough to drink or not. It's none of my business if they're just here to find a girlfriend. My business is to do exactly what I promised those old men who did this to me, which was to do what they did to me, to carry this message forward to the next guy who professes to be done and ready and willing. My approach seems to kind of cull the faint of heart, and that's good, because I'm looking for the serious people.

Now, what I want you to do, understanding who I am, where I come from, what my credentials are, and what my intentions are, I would like for you to craft questions that would convey my assuredness, my assertiveness, because I am a recovered alcoholic who has not had a drink nor a compulsion to drink for over 37 years. There are new people out there who were drunk last night asking me today if I can help. I'd be a liar to tell them if I couldn't, and I'd be a sleazebag if I pandered to them.

It's not a negotiation, dude. This is surrender. And in our world, it's unconditional surrender. The instant a condition is brought up, a what if or a but or I can't or if when, if they had done this. I want absolute clarity and certainty. Either you've had enough or you're still thinking about it. And I want to be clear that they understand what we are talking about. We of Alcoholics Anonymous are people who work out of the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous instead of constantly looking for an easier, softer way.

Yes, that's what I'm talking about, binary questions like the ones that are in the book. I just want you to collect from your quicker, easier access to the information and collate it to give me what I'm asking for.

FIRST THINGS FIRST

A Direct Approach to Sponsorship for the Alcoholic Who Is Done

Purpose

This is not a discussion format.
This is not therapy.
This is not a debating society.

This is a method for one alcoholic to help another who says he is done drinking and willing to do whatever it takes.

If that willingness is not present, nothing here applies.

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The Sponsor’s Position

It is none of your business:
• whether he gets sober
• whether he likes you
• whether he agrees with you
• whether he stays or goes

Your business is:
• to carry the message exactly as it was given to you
• to present it clearly, without dilution
• to establish whether willingness is present

You are not persuading.
You are not managing feelings.
You are establishing truth and willingness.

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Establishing the Ground (No Negotiation)

Begin with non-negotiable clarity:
• Are you alcoholic—yes or no?
• Have you had enough—yes or no?
• Are you willing to do whatever it takes to never drink again—yes or no?

If the answer to any of these is “no,” stop.
There is nothing to work with.

If the answer is “yes,” proceed.

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First Things First: Honesty About God

We are not here to define God.
We are here to establish what is already true for him.

Every alcoholic arrives with a working conception of God:
• belief
• disbelief
• resentment
• indifference
• confusion

Whatever it is, it must be brought into the open and examined.

Not politely.
Not theoretically.
Truthfully.

Because anything unexamined will block recovery.

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The Objective

The objective is not agreement.
The objective is not correct theology.

The objective is:
• to expose what he actually believes or rejects
• to identify fear, resentment, and resistance
• to determine whether he is willing to move beyond it

This is inventory at the level of foundation.

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Instructions to the Newcomer

Tell him:

“Write it down.
Not what you think you should believe—what you actually believe.
As specifically as you can.
As if your life depends on telling the truth—because it does.”

He is to write:
• what he believes about God
• what he does not believe
• what he trusts
• what he distrusts
• what he resents
• what he fears

No editing.
No spiritual performance.
No borrowed language.

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The Questions (Binary and Direct)

These are not discussion questions.
They are decision points.

Foundation
1. Are you done drinking—yes or no?
2. Do you accept that alcohol has beaten you—yes or no?
3. Are you willing to go to any length to stay sober—yes or no?

Willingness
4. Are you willing to stop relying on your own thinking—yes or no?
5. Are you willing to follow direction—yes or no?
6. No conditions—yes or no?

Conception of God
7. What do you actually believe about God right now?
8. If you don’t believe, what exactly do you reject?
9. What do you trust?
10. What do you distrust?

Fear and Resistance
11. What do you fear God will do to you?
12. What do you fear God will not do for you?
13. What do you resent about the idea of God?
14. What are you protecting by resisting?

Source
15. Where did these ideas come from?
16. Have you ever examined them for yourself—yes or no?

Results
17. What has your current belief or non-belief produced in your life?
18. Has it worked—yes or no?

Decision
19. Are you willing to set aside what you think you know—yes or no?
20. Are you ready to take the next step right now—yes or no?

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What You Are Watching For

You are not listening for the “right” answers.

You are listening for:
• hesitation
• conditions (“yes, but…”)
• blame
• intellectualizing
• avoidance

These indicate lack of surrender.

Clarity, simplicity, and directness indicate willingness.

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Final Principle

This is not a gradual negotiation.

This is surrender.

The moment conditions appear, surrender has not occurred.

Your role is not to force surrender.
Your role is to make it unmistakably clear what surrender requires.

Those who are ready will step forward.
Those who are not will step away.

Both outcomes are correct.

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Closing

If he is willing, you proceed immediately into the work.

If he is not, you leave the door open and move on.

You are not here to save anyone.

You are here to carry a message that works